Obesity Here I Come

They closed the Starbucks in my building. While that news is troubling to 87%* of the working population, it doesn't really bother me much. In the 18 months I have worked here I had visited that Starbucks maybe 3 times. This morning, the part that makes this closure troubling to me made itself known. As I approached the entrance to my building I was faced with a sign that reads "Crumbs Bake Shop Coming Soon." I stopped dead in my tracks and grunted, "NOOOOO!"

Seriously, how could they? Don't they know I have totally begun to slack on my running because getting up to run in the chilly cold and dark before work is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.** Aren't they aware that all my clothing has slightly shrunk, especially around the waist and butt? How could they*** do this to me?

Lamenting the new addition publicly, I secretly wait while rubbing my hands together and licking my lips for cupcakes. Yay! Booo! YAY! Blob.





*78% of Statistics are entirely made up.
**Last year I still had a gym in my building at this time, this year it's totally outdoors for me.
***Unknown, mystery, evil bakers of delicious cupcakes.